Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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