Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
