wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
