brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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