It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
