too bad you live with your parents still
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
