idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
