spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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