as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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