WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
