I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
