You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
