If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
