She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
