why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
