Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
