No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
