My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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