Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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