Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
