You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
