Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
