Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
