What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I bet he comes in French.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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