Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Randomize
