i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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