What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
