If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
