I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
