hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
they're like a gay fantastic four
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
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