how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
