I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
