Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
