recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
