I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
