three words: i give head
three words: not that well
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
