Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
