he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
