It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
