Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
