He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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