I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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