Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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