I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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