i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
