k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have aggressive nipples.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize