What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
