I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
