We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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