I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
