Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
