why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
