I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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