I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We left the knife in your bed.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
