A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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