I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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